Sadly, now is such a time. It feels like we don’t know or control anything. And the more we look into learning about what’s going on, the less it feels like we do.

Although the world nowadays is set up to offer unlimited information, it seems that’s not always true. I mean, yes, we do have access to tons of information and the speed of it would have been inconceivable 35 years ago. But, our access is limited to information that exists.

And now, on this topic, there’s no real information.

Uncertainty Is Comfort’s Archenemy

There is no easy way to combat the effects of uncertainty on our minds and our emotional states. It’s definitely one of those realities that hit close to home and inflict serious damage.

In such times, consuming as much information as possible seems to be the best solution.

And that’s what we do.

We go out (or stay in) and try to collect pieces and pieces to fit together as a whole picture. All that in the hope that the bigger picture will also lead to a better answer or a solution.

Doing that is supposed to serve as reassurance and decrease the anxiety brought on by uncertainty.

But there are also times when there’s nothing to consume. Whatever is available isn’t very nutritious, so to speak. And that’s a problem without a quick fix.

However, all is not lost even in dark times. We basically always know something even when we know nothing.

How to Find What You Do Know

By knowing ourselves and what makes our wheels turn, we can adjust both our response and our ability to overcome a challenge.

By not giving in, not giving up, and not becoming just a victim of circumstance, you can stay on top of things and manage uncertainty.

There are always things you can do.

Things like recognizing certain truths about yourself and the way you relate to the world. Things like knowing and staying true to your goals and checking that your actions in life align with that goal.

That will come in handy no matter what’s going on around you. So, here’s the scoop on how to get your you-know-what together:

1. Decide What You Want for Yourself and Act On It

To be true to who you are, you must first know who you are.

It is paramount that you determine points A and B. Point A is where you are now, point B is where you would like to be. Easy!

Only it’s not.

Point A is a combination of genetics, biology, social factors, education, character type, and opportunities.

Although we sometimes say we would like to be, we are not all equal. Some are born from healthy parents, some inherit certain conditions. Some are born healthy and develop a condition or a disability later in life. Some have accidents, some win awards. Some are physically challenged, some are great athletes and have blonde hair and blue eyes.

There are almost 8 billion examples like that. And everything from our genetic heritage to our schooling and the people we interact with throughout our lives influences our point A.

With point B it’s a little easier. We are all in the pursuit of happiness and we all want to do better and be better. We all put in work to fuel this goal. What’s different is the amount of work and the direction of our efforts.

Although we all want to have a better life and we’re all aware that some work may have to go into that, we don’t all see what the work is or how much of it is required.

Imagine a little boy in India from a family struggling to make ends meet. His dream is to be an investment broker in the US. The work he will have to put in and the amount of that work will be completely different from Brad, born in Boston into a family of wealthy neurologists.

Another important aspect about point B is its clarity.

Maybe I shouldn’t dream of being Naomi Campbell and focus my efforts on that if I am 1,64 m high and 36 years old already. It’s clear that she has the physical traits recommending her for the job and she started her career at something like 14 to achieve the level of fame she is at now.

That’s why defining your goal is vital. You don’t want to be wasting time and energy on something that clearly does not meet any realistic condition.

You can instead focus on higher purposes when you are defining your goals.

Things like How do I want that goal to make me feel? Something like I want to be a good person and a valued community member so that my actions can bring happiness and relief to others.

Also consider things like Will it affect other aspects of my life, Will it make me a better person?

In the end, you are free to decide whatever you want. You could decide your goal is to become a theatre critic or it could be that you want to work on yourself and take advantage of life’s opportunities.

Or you could decide all you want to be is at peace. Nothing is off the table.

That said, it’s time for accountability and owning up to your decisions. No one else will be handing out penalties to you if you don’t stay on course.

Don’t expect others to nag and convince you of what you need to do and when. It’s your responsibility and no one else’s. And until that thought is clear in your mind, your journey from point A to point B will be stuck in neutral.

2. Search and You Will Find What Makes You Tick

There are certain things that rub us the right way. Good music, a chocolate cake or several, a nice trip. They are what we turn to when we want to feel good.

It’s the same with your mind. It responds to certain factors better than others. You can’t expect a positive outcome from being yelled at by your boss or being stuck in traffic for 3 hours.

But you can’t control most of that either.

However, look deep enough and you will find that certain actions lead to a positive reaction from your mind.

Some practice things like kindness and gratitude to lift their spirits. I’ve tried it too and it works. It’s amazing how doing something for someone else ends up being gratifying for you. It’s counterintuitive, but it works.

With me, what makes me tick is positive feedback. Yes, I know that also says I have to work on some issues of self-worth, but whatever. I’m not hurting anyone if I use that little something I know changes my mood and makes me more positive.

Just knowing that positive feedback is something I thrive on, that opens me up to attract situations that will give me that feeling.

I’ll give you an example. Recently, I had a client miscommunication situation. I had the option of fighting with them over it or adapting and overcoming. So, because it was not a difficult task for me, I chose to give them what they needed. That attracted positive feedback from them because I had kindly gotten them out of a jam they’d put themselves in.

Needless to say, my mood that day was peaches.

3. Choose What and How You Let In

This one is pretty much self-explanatory. But making a conscious effort to filter what and how you let in is more than just knowing that it’s good for you.

Just like with goals, you must become aware of the people and information you surround yourself with.

Take a little time-out once in a while to evaluate if those people and environments are good for you now and in the long run. Do they align with where you see yourself in 5 years? Do they align with your values and goals?

Chances are a few heads will roll.

And then there’s media. Social media, TV, news media, whatever. That stuff definitely needs some filtering. If not a lot of it. Question their motivation, limit your intake and most of all decide if it’s doing more good to you than bad.

Right now I have a bone to pick with the news channels and their take on the whole COVID-19 situation.

The news media thrives on the quantity of information they supply their viewers. But quantity is not necessarily beneficial to us, though.

Especially in such trying times and with so little actual concrete information available, news media relentlessly works to provide updates. They create panic around any subject to keep you watching.

And in their search for the next big headline, they fill up space by becoming an outlet for anyone wanting to say basically anything about the subject. That means that any jerk is now a specialist. How are we to know if the guy who just said shampoo will make your dog speak Chinese is an expert or not? He is on TV, so he must be?

4. Avoid Red Flags

And I mean really do it.

You know how many times you got yourself in a situation and said “Oh, why did I let myself get dragged into this (again)?”.

It’s cause you ignored the red flags.

Red flags are everywhere if you are willing to see them. And just acknowledging them once in a while will save you a lot of pain and trouble.

But this too won’t work until you are ready for some accountability and owning up. Until then, you can still blame it on other people and see where that gets you.

5. Stop Thinking You Can Control Anything Else but Yourself

Also a little self-explanatory. But what I mean with this takes me back to point 3.

News is a great example of something you think will help you if you consume large quantities of it, but it actually doesn’t.

Watching and reading everything the “experts” have to say about one subject or another will give you the illusion that it’s educational and it will lead you to better understanding and better decision-making. The illusion of being able to better predict or control a situation.

But it actually won’t.

What it will lead you to is panic and anxiety. Because the news is not like a lesson on modern architecture. It’s not structured as educational content. There is no end and no lesson to be learned from it. Just noise.

Be ready to acknowledge if you can or can’t control a situation and learn to make the difference. You will find that most situations are not under your control, so dumping anger and frustration at it won’t do much good.

What you can control, though, is yourself.

6. This, Too, Shall Pass

To conclude my rant, just know that whatever it is that’s making you crazy right now, whatever is keeping you up at night, it will pass.

And when it does, something else will come along. And you’ll worry and lose sleep about that. And so on.

There are few things in life one cannot get over and hopefully you won’t have to deal with those.

And even if this does not pass, you’ll adapt one way or another.

There’s help. They call it the “psychological immune system” and it works the same way your body’s immune system does. It helps you adjust and change your views so that you can feel better about the world you live in.

So, don’t worry that much. Your mind’s immune system is your homie and it’s got your back.